Ever since I could remember, I dreamed of becoming a stay-at-home wife. The idea of being able to keep house, prepare meals, and run all the errands appealed to me greatly. But I always thought of it as a far off dream, way into the future. Little did I know that God had my life planned out differently.
Where It All Began
When I say I am a stay-at-home wife (or a homemaker), some people are surprised, and others are amazed when I say I do not have kids, or plan on having any in the near immediate future. I generally find this quite amusing, since not too long ago, it was seen as a respected vocation to be a homemaker (with or without children).
My goal once-upon-a-time was to build a career and climb up the corporate ladder. The idea of being a stay-at-home wife was something I thought would happen years from now. Not once did I consider that being a homemaker was an option for me in my younger years (and with no kids none-the-less)!
Once I met my husband though, my goals changed completely. I no longer had this desire to work towards building a career. Instead, I wanted to work towards creating and running my own home.
Why I Decided To Be A Stay-At-Home Wife
(With No Kids!)
This eagerness to be a stay-at-home wife stemmed from a variety of influences.
Seeing my mom as a homemaker is one of the main ones. Growing up in that environment and having her at home meant a lot when it came to my childhood. I saw and learned first hand what she did as a wife and mother. She would keep the house in order and get what she needed to do done, even on those days where I could see she was tired and craved for a break.
This shaped and formed my view of what being a homemaker was like on a daily basis.
Other stay-at-home wives I know in my personal life, old and young, also ignited little flames to my faraway dream even more.
Witnessing how they would work around their home and interact with their husband and children, as well as their words of wisdom, would make me swell with happiness and only added more to the fire.
Vintage Films + Books
I can’t lie – books, old tv shows and “vintage” films also gave me this dreamy idea of what running a home is like. The way the wives maintained their home, raised their children and loved on their husbands, to me, looked like the ultimate dream.
In a way, I also felt encouraged to be a homemaker, not only from my family and a few others but also as a calling from God. I felt that He had this path in life planned out and meant for me. The desire was so much stronger to go down this road than any other.
“The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only – and that is to support the ultimate career. ”― C.S. Lewis
Was It Really Possible for Me?
During our engagement, Matt and I discussed our goals, our dreams, and what we expected from each other once we were married. At this time, I breached the topic of me possibly staying at home. As I listed all the benefits – along with all the things I would do, what I wanted to pursue, and any other future passions – I waited for the denial. Thoughts of, “We need the extra income”, or “There’s no reason for you to stay home all day, women can work now” were flooding my mind.
To my surprise, Matt was all for it! No hesitation what-so-ever and was even ecstatic at the idea! This, in turn, made me thrilled. His response was so unexpected. What made him agree so quickly, I do not know. Perhaps I did convince him and he thought it was truly a great idea, or maybe, just maybe, God planted the seed in some way beforehand.
Living on One Income?
After we went over our finances, we realized that it was not necessary for me to work. With his earnings, we could live a simple, comfortable lifestyle, and that’s all we need.
However, if I wanted to work, it was my choice. At this point, we decided to give it a trial run.
So I quit my job a few weeks before the wedding. This gave me time to finish moving into our new home and getting it set-up, as well as complete any last minute details for the wedding.
I thought that maybe after the summer I would go back to work part-time. But as summer ended and entered into fall, we realized that remaining at home was the best for us.
The benefits of me staying home far outweighed any amount of money I could contribute.
The Benefits of Being a Homemaker
What I did not expect to happen, was that my staying home has helped our marriage grow!
We each have a role and contribute in our own way to our relationship. Since we are, in a sense, traditional, we stay within our respected gender roles, and I believe that, along with keeping God at the center, has contributed to our successful and healthy marriage.
Time Freedom + Flexibility
Another benefit is that I have time freedom and flexibility. I’m able to spend more time with family, run errands without feeling rushed, and take my time organizing, cleaning, and preparing.
I can be there for friends in need, or assist family members when they are in a tough situation.
But the best of all is that I have the opportunity to be the best wife possible for my husband.
Stressfree + Healthier
I’ve become so much happier, too! No more stress or anxiety that I would constantly have, carrying this heavy weight on my shoulders every day.
Even my husband noticed how much healthier I appeared, how much happier I suddenly became. There is no more unnecessary worries or stress.
Now when I wake up in the morning, I know that my job is to run my household and to care for my family.
If anything, I discovered something new about myself: I cannot work in the corporate world or for anybody else. It is definitely not my calling to be a full-time career driven woman. There was absolutely no desire to rush back to a job that I knew I would not love.
Being a housewife, and one day, a mother, are definitely my true callings in this life.
Of course, I still have my side business(es), so I’m not opposed to women working at all! However, it is on my own time and at my own pace.
It’s Not for Everyone
Being a housewife is not for everyone. Each person is unique in their goals and dreams, and what they want to do with their life.
Maybe you don’t have that opportunity yet, but it is something you want in the future. Or perhaps you are the type that loves working outside the home, whether it be for a company or running your own business.
Whatever your goals are, I encourage you to chase those dreams and know you can achieve whatever it is you want for yourself.
I love being a traditional stay-at-home wife and being able to do all the roles that come with the job. It is a blessing that God has given me this opportunity to do what I’ve always dreamed of. I am thankful and truly grateful every day, and I make sure that I show that through my homemaking.
I think it’s funny how the tables have turned in such a short amount of time. How the definition of a career has flipped around so drastically.
It’s great you are able to do what you love, and share your story here. The thought had not crossed my mind until recently, but I can see how fulfilling being a stay at home wife would be, too. Do what works for you both, it’s beautiful.
Wow, thank you so much for your comment! It’s so nice to hear that others understand where I’m coming from. We are very happy 🙂
Great article! I’m a stay at home mom and wife and I was not always open to the idea of it even though my mom was. I saw myself doing something greater. I quit my teaching job because my husband is in the Navy and it was so hard for me to get a new credential in every state. I wasn’t happy about it at first but now I’m happy. I couldn’t ask for a happier life.
So glad to hear that you’re happy with where you are now! It’s such a fulfilling position being at home!
Wow I’m not married yet and hopefully soon to be engaged, but this is like so me! But he wants me to homemake and make money. Even though he makes well over enough to finance our life, he pushes me to bring in money. Although the only thing he does around the home is take out the trash, only if I ask him to (2 1/2 years). I’m at the freaking crossroad right now, this is the 1st time I’ve said this
This is a great post. I love your truth. It makes me happy to see someone in a position in their life that they are truly happy with. Continue growing and living your dream life!
Thank you so much! We definitely are!
I spent the first six years of our marriage at home as a stay-at-home wife and don’t regret it at all. It was a wonderful time for our marriage to grow and for us to learn to appreciate each other. It also helped us learn how to manage our lives on a single income, which has made our lives so much easier in the long run. Enjoy this time together!
Thank you so much! <3
I love this! I am a stay at home mom and wouldn’t have it any other way! Before, I was a high school science teacher. Being a SAHM is one of the hardest jobs I have ever had, but also one of the most rewarding ones! Congrats on yalls beautiful journey 💕
Thank you so much, Clair! We are so happy and love the way our married life is. 🙂
I agree that it is interesting how people don’t see staying home as a good thing in this modern world. Truth is that being a homemaker is far as important as working away from home – sometimes it’s even harder.
I really admire your strength to stand out from the cultural norm. I love your heart behind your choice and greatly respect it! I love this post!
I think to each his/her own, right? I was super enmeshed in building my nursing career (still am) for the longest time. Now I’m getting my doctorate and blogging full time, but no longer working in the hospital or nursing administration. My life is SO much more stress free not dealing with the various personalities and headaches that encompassed my working world. Happy for your happiness!
Our lives are so much better when I’m not working constantly and exhausted when I get home. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad for equality for women,but unfortunately society has found a way to turn this opportunity into almost a new type of oppression! A woman who chose to care for the house and husband instead of chasing money she doesn’t even need shouldn’t be devalued! Nurturing is necessary!
Absolutely! Couldn’t agree more.
I love this! I’m a stay at home wife with no kids myself! It happened because I was getting so stressed working a full time and part time job and wanted so badly to have my own business. Thankfully my husband was also all for it! We’re living a simple life as well and it has definitely helped grow our marriage much more than if I was still working two jobs. Thanks for sharing! Great post 😊
Thank you so much for writing this article and sharing it! I come from a very career driven family, but my place is as a homemaker. I get a lot of negative comments. I am learning to follow what’s best for my little family and stay home where I am truly valued and appreciated!! My husband loves me being home and I love taking care of him. It works so well for us! I’m so thankful!!
You are so welcome!! You do have a career! You are a homemaker, so all those nay sayers can keep that negativity to themselves. You keep doing you, girl! If it works for you and hubby is on board, nothing anyone says matters. <3
Hey i really enjoyed your article! I am a stay-at-home wife since getting married 10 months ago. I am slowly getting use to people asking me if i have a job. I expect a negative reaction when i say i am homemaker. My husband is super supportive!! 🙂
Glad to hear that! Yes, I’m still getting used to that! People are always like, “oh” when I say I’m a full-time homemaker. As long as your husband is on board, that’s all that matters!
I am so happy to come across this post. I am 52 years old and quit my job about a month ago. My husband and I have been married for 22 years and chose not to have children. I am less stressed, not consumed by going to work. I maintain the home so my husband does not have to. I am still getting used to being at home but so far I like this better than slogging away at some job!
I have third baby on the way and have been a stay-at-home mom before and will be again. I really hated the idea of closing my in-home preschool at first, but… The oddest thing: My husband was totally supportive! He didn’t care about the income loss. He is happy to support me in raising our children. What a blessing our guys are to respect the work we women do in caring for our families. ❤
This article resonated so much with me! My dream was to be a vet and I would do anything to get into vet school. However, now that I’m married, my perspective has changed a lot! The program is so demanding and I’m not willing to sacrifice our marriage for a stressful career. Since I didn’t get accepted, I wonder if my calling is to reapply or pursue an online master’s degree part time instead.