Ever since I could remember, I dreamed of becoming a stay-at-home wife. The idea of being able to keep house, prepare meals, and run all the errands appealed to me greatly. But I always thought of it as a far off dream, way into the future. Little did I know that God had my life planned out differently.
Where It All Began
When I say I am a stay-at-home wife (or a homemaker), some people are surprised, and others are amazed when I say I do not have kids, or plan on having any in the near immediate future. I generally find this quite amusing, since not too long ago, it was seen as a respected vocation to be a homemaker (with or without children).
My goal once-upon-a-time was to build a career and climb up the corporate ladder. The idea of being a stay-at-home wife was something I thought would happen years from now. Not once did I consider that being a homemaker was an option for me in my younger years (and with no kids none-the-less)!
Once I met my husband though, my goals changed completely. I no longer had this desire to work towards building a career. Instead, I wanted to work towards creating and running my own home.
Why I Decided To Be A Stay-At-Home Wife
(With No Kids!)
This eagerness to be a stay-at-home wife stemmed from a variety of influences.
Seeing my mom as a homemaker is one of the main ones. Growing up in that environment and having her at home meant a lot when it came to my childhood. I saw and learned first hand what she did as a wife and mother. She would keep the house in order and get what she needed to do done, even on those days where I could see she was tired and craved for a break.
This shaped and formed my view of what being a homemaker was like on a daily basis.
Other stay-at-home wives I know in my personal life, old and young, also ignited little flames to my faraway dream even more.
Witnessing how they would work around their home and interact with their husband and children, as well as their words of wisdom, would make me swell with happiness and only added more to the fire.
Vintage Films + Books
I can’t lie – books, old tv shows and “vintage” films also gave me this dreamy idea of what running a home is like. The way the wives maintained their home, raised their children and loved on their husbands, to me, looked like the ultimate dream.
In a way, I also felt encouraged to be a homemaker, not only from my family and a few others but also as a calling from God. I felt that He had this path in life planned out and meant for me. The desire was so much stronger to go down this road than any other.
“The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only – and that is to support the ultimate career. ”― C.S. Lewis
Was It Really Possible for Me?
During our engagement, Matt and I discussed our goals, our dreams, and what we expected from each other once we were married. At this time, I breached the topic of me possibly staying at home. As I listed all the benefits – along with all the things I would do, what I wanted to pursue, and any other future passions – I waited for the denial. Thoughts of, “We need the extra income”, or “There’s no reason for you to stay home all day, women can work now” were flooding my mind.
To my surprise, Matt was all for it! No hesitation what-so-ever and was even ecstatic at the idea! This, in turn, made me thrilled. His response was so unexpected. What made him agree so quickly, I do not know. Perhaps I did convince him and he thought it was truly a great idea, or maybe, just maybe, God planted the seed in some way beforehand.
Living on One Income?
After we went over our finances, we realized that it was not necessary for me to work. With his earnings, we could live a simple, comfortable lifestyle, and that’s all we need.
However, if I wanted to work, it was my choice. At this point, we decided to give it a trial run.
So I quit my job a few weeks before the wedding. This gave me time to finish moving into our new home and getting it set-up, as well as complete any last minute details for the wedding.
I thought that maybe after the summer I would go back to work part-time. But as summer ended and entered into fall, we realized that remaining at home was the best for us.
The benefits of me staying home far outweighed any amount of money I could contribute.
The Benefits of Being a Homemaker
What I did not expect to happen, was that my staying home has helped our marriage grow!
We each have a role and contribute in our own way to our relationship. Since we are, in a sense, traditional, we stay within our respected gender roles, and I believe that, along with keeping God at the center, has contributed to our successful and healthy marriage.
Time Freedom + Flexibility
Another benefit is that I have time freedom and flexibility. I’m able to spend more time with family, run errands without feeling rushed, and take my time organizing, cleaning, and preparing.
I can be there for friends in need, or assist family members when they are in a tough situation.
But the best of all is that I have the opportunity to be the best wife possible for my husband.
Stressfree + Healthier
I’ve become so much happier, too! No more stress or anxiety that I would constantly have, carrying this heavy weight on my shoulders every day.
Even my husband noticed how much healthier I appeared, how much happier I suddenly became. There is no more unnecessary worries or stress.
Now when I wake up in the morning, I know that my job is to run my household and to care for my family.
If anything, I discovered something new about myself: I cannot work in the corporate world or for anybody else. It is definitely not my calling to be a full-time career driven woman. There was absolutely no desire to rush back to a job that I knew I would not love.
Being a housewife, and one day, a mother, are definitely my true callings in this life.
Of course, I still have my side business(es), so I’m not opposed to women working at all! However, it is on my own time and at my own pace.
It’s Not for Everyone
Being a housewife is not for everyone. Each person is unique in their goals and dreams, and what they want to do with their life.
Maybe you don’t have that opportunity yet, but it is something you want in the future. Or perhaps you are the type that loves working outside the home, whether it be for a company or running your own business.
Whatever your goals are, I encourage you to chase those dreams and know you can achieve whatever it is you want for yourself.
I love being a traditional stay-at-home wife and being able to do all the roles that come with the job. It is a blessing that God has given me this opportunity to do what I’ve always dreamed of. I am thankful and truly grateful every day, and I make sure that I show that through my homemaking.